I dedicate this one to you

We all have that one person who is in our past for a very clear reason, actually we may have a few people. One that comes to mind for me personally would be an ex boyfriend. That term "ex" just makes me want to hold my ears tight and scream. College and young adult life is full of heartbreaks and tons of walkers. I like to call the people who come into your life for a short period of time "walkers," this type of person could be someone you meet at a party, a short lived friend, or my favorite a uncommitted ex boyfriend. Take my word for it I've delt with quite a handful of "walkers" over the past year.

Here's the thing though, my one person from my past, the one that makes me want to scream isn't a quote on quote bad person. Good people sometimes can make bad choices, but do we hold it against them or find it in our heart to forgive them? We are all at the age where we are growing and learning from mistakes that will shape us and make us the person we want to be. But in order to get to that point don't you think there will be a few bumps along the way? Just because you have a map doesn't mean you wont get lost. This person just didn't know how to read directions very well, clearly.

More than once we have traveled down the path we once were on together, reminiscing on what good memories we shared. We've also butted heads multiple times disagreeing over what really went wrong. His reasoning; he wasn't ready, nor had the time for a relationship. And me on the defense; I was treated like a doormat, completely walked over. But we are both in the wrong, he should have appreciated a good thing when he had it, not after it was lost. And I should have stood up for myself when I was knocked down time and time again. Many would say that this person doesn't deserve to know what I think about him now, but this isn't for him its for me and it's for you. For the girl who still dwells on the past, and thinks about that one guy and what she did wrong. We've all been that girl  at one point, and its time we warn the younger girls so they don't go threw what you and I have.There was a reason that this relationship didn't work, who's to say that it wont work later on down the road. Or who's to say that this wont lead you into something greater. I am not bitter about what happened, I know not every relationship will work out. I know that because it didn't work that God has something so much greater planned for me, and im excited to see what he has in store.

You take what happened and you learn from it, grow from it. That is exactly what I did, I took all of that energy spent trying to make someone else happy, who mind you didn't want to be, and focused it all on myself. How can you fall in love with someone if you don't first love yourself. On this journey I have learned so much about myself, I've started to discover what I actually want in a person, what I need to work on when it comes to relationships, and most importantly I've learned im no where near ready to even get into a relationship. At the prime age of twenty one there is a endless amount of possibilities, the road is wide open for me to go wherever my heart desires, and because of that I'd like to personally thank that guy for breaking my heart. You have given me the push I needed to really discover who I am, and you have molded me into a better person. Ill also thank him on behalf of the guy that I do end up with. I know that he is going to love me because of what you have forced me to do, which is focus on myself. I wish you nothing but happiness so here's to you!