Why we should spend less time watching The Bachelor, and more time reading The Song of Solomon

You know those nights where you find yourself channel surfing around eleven pm for something to watch, anything, you are literally looking to find something half decent on TV at this point and still no luck. So what do you do? The answer is clear people... you watch "The Bachelor" duh. NO! Why would you do that? The show is staged, and the lines these people say are super cheesy. Yet here you are in your target pajamas, drinking a cup of hot tea, listening to this god awful show. And you're actually buying it! If you thought it was pathetic that you chose this show to begin with, the fact that you are actually getting emotional sends you over the edge.

Now I could be the only girl in the world that does this, matter of fact I probably am the only girl, but that is bedside the point... the point is why do us girls torture ourselves into watching other people's love stories evolve in front of our eyes? We lay in bed and watch movies like Dear John and The Vow thinking "oh this is going to be a great night in, I'll have a glass of wine and stare at Channing Tatum all night" easy as cake huh? Then the credits start to roll and we're left alone with our thoughts and a empty bottle of wine, because lets be honest one glass just didn't cut it. Then one thing leads to another and were calling our best friend crying.  WAKE UP SISTER. There is a much bigger picture here that you are not seeing (maybe the wine clouded your mind just a tad).

Ladies need to start focusing their energy elsewhere, instead of getting themselves down in the dirt over some guy or relationship. God makes it very clear to us that we are not ready for a relationship when we are actively looking for one, he wants us to spend time focusing our energy on him and building up our relationship with Christ before he decides to place that perfect guy in out lives. We should spend less time scrolling through wedding boards on Pintrest and more hours studying the Song of Songs, to really get a clear idea on what it is that God want's us to have in a relationship. Timing is never wrong in God's eyes, to us we might think "maybe it would of worked with them if it was just better timing." Well that is not true, God's timing is never off. He places people in our lives at certain times for a reason, just because it doesn't work out with them does not mean that the path you're headed wont lead you into something else. We must always trust in him and let him lead us in the right direction, instead of the direction we think is best.

I log into Facebook and see friends from high school getting engaged and starting families and instead of getting upset over the fact that I am 150% single, I smile and think I can not wait for that point in my life but for now I'll enjoy where God has me at this time. Spend your days thanking the almighty for giving you this world to live in and breathing life into your body, rather than walking with your head low because you have don't have someone to watch a Netflix marathon all day with. One day when God feels you are in the right place with him, he will place someone right where they need to be and the pieces to the puzzle you could never find will be as if they were there all along. Channing Tatum is great to look at but lets face it, he's married and has no clue who you are at all. There is however an incredible person that God has hand created for each of us and that thought overwhelms me with joy.

Why does God take us South to go North?

In my life recently I have felt distance in my relationship with God. While living in College Station I would regularly attend an on campus bible study called Breakaway every week, and since I have moved to Houston I have yet to find a church that I feel fits my walk with christ. I have noticed a hole in my heart that could only be filled with the preachings of the Lord. I decided while I continued my search I would look back on my notes taken over the course of my time at Breakaway, and login to their website to watch previous podcast. Within minutes of hearing the words of God again I began to feel my spirits lift. In day to day life I hear the words of Christian singers and pray to God, but he requires more from us, to study his word and to listen to his preaching. 

While the hole started to grow I was given unfortunate information about my mother. She noticed a spot on her face that appeared out of nowhere and was continuing to grow. In fear that it could be something worse than a simple blemish, something cancerous, so she made an appointment to see a specialist. Personally I freaked out inside, automatically assuming the worst and began to question God. Why would he put my mothers life in danger of such a terrible disease. I wanted to be angry and upset with him but knew that was just the enemy talking. 

Fot I know the plans I have for you declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future. Jeremiah 29:11

Just when the enemy stepped in I knew I had to get on my knees and pray, pray for her health, for her life, and for her loved ones. I did not tell many people, for we did not know for sure what was the actual cause was for this, but the ones I did tell I asked for continued prayers. My dads church was notified and reached out their thoughts and prayed togeather as a church. Mind you this news was brought to my attention about two weeks ago, my mother appointment was scheduled for today, the 13 of August. LAST NIGHT I received a text from my mom of a picture along with the words "I woke up today and it is completely gone." As if the spot was never there, a spot that was growing day by day...GONE. Just like that a rush of relief came over me. How could this happen, what made it just disappear...

PRAYER

With the words spoken by many mouths to our father asking him for healing and health for my mom, he took away what could of led my family down a very scary path. So the question I ask you, why does God take us north to go south? What does this mean? God takes us down paths that build us, they build our relationship with others, build our relationship with God, and builds our faith. He leads us this way to give us the opportunity to put our trust in him alone. He is the healer of all things. He wants us to believe in him and his words that he know the plans he has for us, we can not change them they are set so what do we do other than put our trust in him fully? When we are forced to face a scary possibility like sickness or death and God takes away that possibility we find ourselves worshiping him whole heartedly, but he doesn't want our worship just out of thanks for healing, he wants our worship for him at all times. We can't just thank him when we feel he has helped something, he sent his one and only son to die for OUR sins, we must praise and worship him always.

God test us daily to see if when we feel hopeless and are struggling that we will not stray from his promises but that we will stand firm in our faith in a time of rain, in order to see his rainbow. Often times God will lead us in a direction we don't know to display his glory! He is worthy of all praise no matter what obstacle is thrown in our lives. He provides comfort in his words and in his people. God will sometimes complicate our lives for his teachings and glory, in this time of worry and stress over my mom he has taught me that he is the only person that can take that worry away. We must cast our anxiety on him and he will deal with it, as long as we trust in him. When people see the blessings God has given me, then I hope they will call upon him. Our faith will move us forward on his path into his glory. 

God has huge plans for each and every one of us, but that does not mean that bad things can't and won't happen, it just means we have to keep trusting in him. My challenge to you if you do not know christ or even if you do, is this... You can keep doing what you are doing and be STUCK where you are, or you can open up to changing your ways and see where the Lord leads you. When you step into a walk with christ and put your faith in God you will receive blessings. There will be obstacles and problems, but he asks us to not focus on those problems we may face, but instead to focus on his PROMISES. 

The size of your problem does not matter, the size of your God does.

Here's how I got PitchSlapped

June is nearly coming to an end and boy oh boy has it been an exciting month. Monthly updates are becoming a thing here on my itty bitty blog and Im glad I can keep you guys up to date with whats going on in my life. Recently a pretty cool thing happened, at the beginning of the month my best friend and I made a spontaneous trip to Louisiana to play extras in the audience watching the Treblemakers preform in Pitch Perfect 2. We enjoyed being on set so much that we got back in contact with a casting director to return later in the month to see the Bellas... little did I know I'd be getting to do a little more than just be an extra in the audience. I would love to let you guys have the full experience of what my trip to PP2 was actually like, sharing pictures and videos of my costume and of set, however I do not have 117,000 dollars to pay them when they sue me. I signed this little paper saying I would not share any information about the movie as they want to keep it a secrete until it comes out, which is totally understandable. I can however share a little sneak peak into what happened to me while I was there. 

I originally applied to play an audience member again all week with my friends and was thrilled with just that, until the night before we started our road trip at dinner when I got a call from casting asking if I would be willing to be in a "specialty group." I can't revile what the group did or looked like but geeze louise was it FUN. Being in this had it's perks, we got our own trailer, were taken to hair and make up almost everyday, fitted and in wardrobe for our costumes, and allowed to be back stage with the actors. I got a glimpse of what its actually like to be on set and not just another extra in the audience which was pretty cool. Being in this group allowed me to meet some pretty awesome people, including having a casual conversation with Brittany Snow while making ice coffee at 3 am. We got to do a few scenes, one on our own where Elizabeth Banks loved what we were doing so much she requested the cameras to be directly on us...AMAZING, and another with Hailee Steinfeld and Ben Platt. Not everyday do you just get to hang out in the same room with an oscar nominee. Everyone was so nice and down to earth, if you're wondering what Rebel Wilson is like she is hilarious! Call times were mainly around 4-6 pm and went all the way until 6 am. It was long hours doing the same scenes about 20 plus times over and over, I never realized how many times they actually shoot the same thing just from tons of different angles and cameras, some of those bad boys are ginormous. 

The week went by fast, and sort of felt like one long continuous day, shooting all night and sleeping all day then getting up and heading right back. Monday-Thursday had only around 100-300 extras in the audience and Friday night was the BIG day, PP2 opened the doors to any and everyone that wanted to come watch the final performance of the Bellas, 2000 people showed up and it was crazy.  Thankfully the volunteers were release around midnight and wouldn't be there the entire time. When we finally wrapped I think I was to the point of delirium, by this point in the week we memorized the lyrics and dance routines of the performances so you know we were a bit tired of seeing the same things and ready to return home. This was an amazing opportunity and exciting week, I'm grateful for everything and so super excited for the movie to come out, May 15, 2015.

(here are a few photos I can share)

A few of the girls in our group

The guys who made things so much fun on set

The sun coming up on the first finished day

A snap chat of the sun on the last day

Bubble fun in-between takes

Some of the crowd on Friday night

An overhead shot of the park that a news station took

Snapchat photo bom with one of the guys from another group

Help, Im freaking OUT people

Mid shower about 20 minutes ago I had a moment, now normally this is where you'd find me having "ideas" or "deep thoughts" so it wasn't abnormal for this to approach my mind while shampoo sat lathering on my head. At almost the age of 22 I feel like I may be in the middle of a mid life, or in this case, quarter life crisis. Now this won't be there first or last time this will happen to me, I along with many other my age have faced this obstacle of many important questions adults such as our elders ask, "What are your career plans?" "Where do you see yourself in five years?" "What is your major, and what will you do with it?" questions I feel as though I should know, but quite frankly don't. Life is changing, it is for most of us at this point in our lives when we thought we had it all figured out we are slapped in the face with a big fat question mark.

Now you have been though what is most or all of your college years, and reality is knocking on your door step. You have been living surrounded by people your age and in which you may think you know more than or are better than in some way. But you are about to step into a new world, the real world, and you will start all over again. Being faced with new challenges where you may not know everything like you thought you had. So what do you do? Back down in fear, or rise and triumph? How do you even get there you wonder... So do I. I don't have the answers. I don't know which direction is the best for you but I can try and give you a little insight on a few thoughts that roam my brain.

A few years ago after graduating high school I had a plan, I was going to go to the local Jr. college in my hometown for a few years, transfer to a university, and then become a teacher. It was what I set in my mind as the perfect plan, and it was in action. But life kicks in and it also kicks you in the ass sometimes as well. I didn't like school, I didn't want to get paid crap money and I wanted to do something more with myself, challenge myself in a way. So I left, moved to a new city, started and completed Cosmetology School, then moved to start my career. I once again thought I found a new plan, one that would really work I told myself. Well look where I am now, I've quit my job, moved once again to another city and enrolled to go back to school. So much for a solid plan right? I think that's the point, that you sometimes can't really plan what is going to happen because lets face it, that's life and it doesn't get more real then that. You have to just trust that God will always lead you in the right direction and know that he has a greater plan that will always be better than any one you could think of yourself.

Along the way I have seemed to have lost parts of myself, I have been tested in many ways and not always have won. You most always stay true to the person you are inside as this journey is leading you to your destiny. We may be frightened in ways at the unknown but we can not stray from ourselves, we must remember what our parents and elders have taught us. Remain true and pure. At 22 I may not have it all figured out but I think the most important thing I must know is to leave my faith in Him and all will go according to HIS plan, I hope you can do the same

xx.

Who am I, Where am I going

If someone was to ask who you were, you would most likely respond with your name followed by some facts like your age and where you live. But who are you really, what do you like, what are your hobbies, what makes you YOU?

If someone asked me Id start out with the fact that I ramble when I get nervous, I will always make the situation awkward by not making since when I ramble on about things that you probably don't like. I am obsessed with One Direction, to the point where I should actually be an nine year old girl. I watch way too many tv shows that have no connection to what the real world is actually like. I enjoy tons of different types of music anywhere between The 1975, to For King and Country. Id tell them that I absolutely hate vegetables and fruit and that yes I know that is very un healthy. That I was once a cheerleader and it consumed about 8 full years of my life and childhood. I am such a hopeless romantic and will continue to cry every time that I watch the last Breaking Dawn. I read an insane amount of books, and have this horrible habit of finding a new one to read and stopping mid way thought the previous book to start another. I absolutely can not sleep well if my room is a mess, it has to be clean and tidy before I can fully rest. Id also say that I wish I went to church a lot more than I do, I have a great relationship with christ and my walk with him is such an import part of my life. You'd have to know that I was born in California and would like to return back one day for good. The beach runs in my soul, I was once a fish in another life. I lose my train of thought in the middle of doing something, like right now for example, and beat myself up until I remember what it was I was trying to do or say. I hang on to things of the past for way to long. Most times I underestimate what peoples true intentions are and get walked on. I spend way too much time on the internet, mostly on YouTube and Tumblr. But that is not all that makes me Me...my family, friends, the people I surround myself with adds to it as well.


A lot has changed since we last spoke, some bad but mostly good. For so long I have filtered my blog and Im proud to say that is no longer an issue. I have been released from the thing that was once holding me back, being in College Station and working at the Salon I was at was completely wrong for me and it took way too long for me to realize it. I never give up or quit something I commit to, but in this case you must make yourself happy and put yourself first sometimes. There I was not happy and never would be, people I surrounded myself with everyday were negative and did nothing but put off bad vibes. I dreaded having to return back to College Station from my days off and trips to see my family. I could feel the life being taken out of me and my heart would be drained after every day. I grew farther from my faith and knew something had to change, I missed my family and I missed myself being ME. I don't want this post to focus on what was bad in the situation but look ahead to the present and soon to come future. After making the decision to leave my job I have decided to move back to Cypress, live with my best friend, and continue to finish school. I have nothing but excitement and joy in my heart to start back where I left off, I hope to study Communications and Public Relations. Through this journey I hopefully will be able to study abroad and learn as much as I can from many different people from all over the world. I will continue to follow though with my dream of making people beautiful doing hair and makeup, just not put all my focus in that direction right now. I can not express how much I felt trapped settling in a town and working every single day, I felt like I was going to be stuck there forever unable to get out, travel, or meet anyone truly for me. At the prime age of twenty-one I am much to young to start a career in a town where I do not belong. My life is mine and a contract is not going to keep me from being the most I can be. I dream to learn, to experience, and to grow. I want to get back to me, and to following where God wants me to go. For now it will be back in Houston, maybe one day it will be a new place but Im happy with my cute bohemian two room apartment with my best friend in the universe.


This is the first summer in years that I have had the absolute freedom to explore, vacation, and do the things I desire. First on my list was to pack my things and travel to Austin to visit my family for a few weeks. Waking up every morning able to take five steps and be in my brothers or sisters room has been the light of my time. Just being here and able to take them swimming, to the movies, or school is a blessing. My parents have been such loving supportive people who will always support and open their arms to their children at all times. The trip has been wonderful, but like I mentioned good has come into my life but that also is followed with bad. A few days shortly after arriving my step mothers mom passed to go into Gods arms.  I could not imagine losing either one of my moms and I know that I will truly never understand the pain that my aunts, uncles, and step mom are feeling. When I was about my sisters age (10) I lost my great-grandmother. I didn't quite grasp the concept of what was really going on, I just knew that my MiMi would not stop crying and people kept bringing us flowers and food. My siblings are young and for them to lose a grandmother is difficult and for them I hurt, but I don't think they fully grasp that she is gone and never coming back. When the realization does hit I will be here for them. Although we are all hurting down here in this life we have to remember that she is now with our maker and looking down upon each and everyone of us smiling and singing with the angles.


Life really has no guarantees, the only thing that is certain is that you will live and you will die. All the in-between is up to you and you alone. For me I chose to walk with christ and live my life for him and to fill my purpose in this life. We have to stand strong in our faith and learn that tough times will come but that is when you will be defined on your character and what makes you who you are. If you have doubt in where you are or what your doing explore other options, there is no contracts or people truly holding you back, only yourself and when you decide its time to move forward then you will. Believe that Gods timing is perfect, I was meant to quit my job and come stay with my family because although we didn't know at the time this would be the weeks they would need me here most. In the loss of my grandmother I find comfort in Jesus timing, he makes no mistakes and will always lead you in the right direction if you trust in him. Hug your love ones extra tight for me today and find your happiness in everyday.

(Rest In Peace Grandma)

(A few pictures since we last spoke)

Okay? Okay.

*Small update following this post

John Green will now forever be a name in my regular day to day vocabulary. His book (now turned major motion picture) The Fault In Our Stars, has consumed my wandering eyes and thoughts over the course of the past few days. I bought the book a few months back when I saw it at an Urban Outfitters, while visiting New York, pretty random place to see it if you ask me. Never the less I googled the title and saw that it would soon be a movie so of course I had to see what it was all about before I would allow myself to step foot in the theater. I had every intention to start reading right away, but this was right around the time Divergent was in theaters so I had to prioritize and read that one first, which by the way I ended up stopping about half way threw because I couldn't wait a second longer to read TFIOS (look at that hip lingo) so I pushed pause on Divergent to start reading. I visited the beach for mothers day and thought this would be the perfect time seeing the movie comes out on JUNE 6TH, mark your calendars people, and I now have completed the book cover to cover with a few turn backs just because it was so beautiful, and I thought Id share my thoughts on the story and give a mini "book review."

Now with any book I like to really clear my mind and take every word the author has written and Imagine it from his/her point of view. John Green made it very easy to really dive deep into the story, fairly quickly if I must say. The book if you do not know is about two young adults around the ages of 16/17 who both are terminally sick with cancer. However, (this part is important so pay attention) this book is NOT about cancer, it is simply a love story about two people. It is completely beautifully written and well voiced. The characters, Hazel and Augustus, are two people you are genuinely rooting for. Like I said the book does not focus on the fact that they both have cancer, but it is a part of the story, the book focuses more on the present and the way they are living their lives day to day rather than counting the days they have left. Their love is true and pure, one that we all hope to have within our lives, it's great because in the beginning of the story Hazel is so hesitant to fall in love because she sees the reality. She knows they will both shortly die and is extremely scared, but isn't that the point to love like there is no tomorrow? Life has no guarantees, we are not given a set amount of days where we can count down, it is unknown to us, so love now in this moment. As soon and she realizes this their love truly unfolds within the pages you are reading and let me just warn you of the waterworks. (And no this is not just because I have overreactive tear ducts and cry at everything!)  It is an emotional roller coaster, one that only goes up. (just a little joke for the ones who've read the book) I am so impressed with the story and the feeling that it gave me. I feel as if I've truly received a gift with this story and encourage you to pick up a copy and see what all the hype is about for yourself.

Now that I've read the book I am literally counting down the days until the movie, I am so thrilled with the cast that has been selected to play the characters. I will openly admit I've watched the trailer to the movie about 67 plus times, and let me just say I am fully prepared to bring a huge box of tissues with me to the screening. Ill also have to remember to block my ex boy friends number so that after I see it I don't end up sending out some emotional sappy text message that I would most likely regret in the morning. Hehe.

Like I mentioned in the beginning of this post Id like to talk to you guys apart from the book. I am very excited to inform you that I will SOON be posting another Update blog with new information about what is going on in my crazy life as promised. Also Im really thinking of doing more of these "mini book review" post after I get done with a new book. I read a ton and think it would spice up my blog bit, let me know your thoughts. Im now reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower, so be on the lookout for that! Hope you guys have an amazing week.

Cheers xx

Update

I've been major slacking on my blog these past few weeks! It's not because I haven't been inspired, I write all the time, it's just knowing when to post something at the right time. The process of deciding when it's appropriate to post something is a daily struggle I face. I fight myself constantly for over thinking what I write, I  worry over who might take offince to what I write, or if it will get me into trouble. If we could write with out judgment what would we put on paper, or in my case the screen? It's almost like if someone could read your mind, would you really be comfortable with them being able to walk freely through your thoughts? I'll answer for you, HELL NO. A lot is changing in my life, I'm so incredibly excited, but it's not time yet to share quite everything. So I won't let you roam my thoughts freely yet, but I will give you a sneak peak.

Change is inevitable right? Well isn't it a better feeling when you know you're in charge of the change. When you take your life in your own hands and really take the reigns. I've been doing just that over the past few months. Some things are falling into the right places and it looks like I've got all of my duckies in a row. About time right? I wouldn't be able to have this without a few special people who have helped me through this journey. My family, best friend, and God have played a big part in helping me along to find just the right path for myself. Now that I've got a plan in mind it is up to me to really follow through to continue to be happy. I've spoken openly in my past posts that I've struggled with letting others control my happiness, and I'll be perfectly honest with you I still find myself having issues with this at times, but I've grown a lot and have really started to lean less on others and more on myself. It's nice when another can make us happy but for now I'm content with it being just me. I am really starting to figure out who I am, what I like, what I HATE, and what I really want. This is such a huge deal to me, personally I've struggled with depression and anexity so the fact that I'm feeling okay with just how things are coming along is amazing. I'm so ready for the changes, and ready to share them with all of you guys!

Stay tuned to find out what's next for me :)

(A few pictures from the past month)

positive minds, good vibes

When you let negativity creep into your life, it will start to consume you. Recently I have been struggling with negativity in my life, anywhere from negative people, to negative thoughts. We all have times when we get down on ourselves but do we actually realize when we do this that it is starting to control our every thought. When you sit in a circle with friends talking about things you don't like you vibe off each others words, you continue to bring out negative thoughts to the surface and then before you know it you are completely frustrated or overwhelmed with sadness.

When faced with this issue not too long ago, I turned to the one person who I knew would be honest and open to listen. My mom is the number one person I run to with any doubt or fear, when I have a problem she usually comes up with a great solution. I was so upset about something that happened and within moments of my story telling she flat out told me that I was being a drama queen, no surprise in that. She is always honest, but we all need to hear the cold hard truth every now and again. She next proceeded to solve the issue at hand, how do we stay positive in so much anger? We turn to God, we pray for peace, and we trust in all that he does. Complexity is something that has to be in our lives in order to test our faith, our morals, and our humanity. When thrown an issue its not about what you do to solve it, it's how you handle yourself in the process.  Oh and she also said "self help book's help a lot too," words of wisdom right there folks. She's right, often times we see so many problems in our lives that we forget the reason we are here.

While scrolling through my pintrest feed earlier today I came across this picture. It made me smile because I know I was shown this for a reason, when life has you pulled a million and one ways we lose focus on the importance of what truly matters. In order to fully let go of things that our bothering us or getting under our skin we have to give it all to him. We can't hold on to anger, or sadness that get's you no where. Cast your anxiety and you're fear on the lord. If you or someone you know is struggling with letting go I encourage you to turn to God, he s always there to comfort you. He knows every feeling you have and every thought that crosses your mind. Then surround yourself with encouraging people who will lift you up and project happiness onto your life. When you have yourself surround with negative people you will become them. 

Eliminate the problem, cast the emotions, and trust in him. 

Things you just need to accept

As a fellow twenty one year old I have learned a lot so far in my short year's of being in my "twenties." We need to learn to accept change, accept hurt, accept differences, and realize that things will not always be as they are right now. While in my teen years I set my expectations of life a little too high, and was quickly disappointed in realization that life will sometimes let you down, in the worst ways. In my twenties I've learned that although my expectations were very unrealistic that it is okay to dream a little, all things are possible, except maybe getting Harry Styles to notice me that most likely will NEVER happen. Here are a few of my realizations since entering my "twenties."

1. Your style is going to change, like everyday. Don't spend tons of money on clothes that you will most likely wear only a few times. 

2. It's better if you accept the fact now that you will indeed get your heart broke, maybe even more than once. Learn from it, don't hold it against every other guy out there. 

3. Now day's people can and will get jobs with out a degree, don't let it discourage you from finishing school. Finish what you've started it will be more rewarding, and you will get paid more.

4. Let's face it, we all have bad hair days, pimples, and pores the size of Pluto. So stop beating yourself up over that girls Instagram picture because trust me she did not "Wake up like this!" 

5. You will not always be broke, there will come a point in your life when you get tired of eating ramen noodles everyday and start budgeting more. Until that day comes, top ramen it up girl friend.

6. Yes sometimes you may get lonely, but trust me you're not the only one, take a number.

7. You can't always count on your "friends" sometimes you will be your best friend, embrace it now it will only make you stronger. 

8. Sometimes you will have to fight for what you believe, don't let others discourage you stand firm in your beliefs. Always remain a good person, no matter what the situation is. Morals count for more than "cool points."

9. We all do it, misjudge someone to quickly. Don't fret it,  just remember to take the time to really get to know someone. 

10. Like your wardrobe your body will also change a lot. Don't get yourself down over skipping that work out class, you deserve a break every now and then. 

11. You will stumble a few times, either because you've had too many cranberry vodkas, you're having a bad day at work, or a relationship just didn't quite go the way you planned. Here's the thing, brush yourself off and continue on. 

12. Do not let negativity run your life. Learn to stay positive no matter what. Take a yoga class, it will help.

13. Not everyone will like you, and if you think they will you will beat yourself up over it everyday.

14. Learn to let the past go, it's a new day keep moving onward. 

15. Stop trying to change what you see in the mirror, you are beautifully made. 

16. You will grow apart from friends, but don't frown, because there will be a few that will have such a strong relationship with you and will be there at your side while you grow old. 

17. You will forever need your parents, so don't even think for a second you won't. Call them just to say I love you.

18. God will never bring you to something he doesn't think you can't get through. Trust him, always.

19. Netflix will forever be there, it's okay to go see a real movie in theaters for a change.

20. You are going to change your mind almost all of the time, don't live you're life feeling guilty for ending that relationship, leaving your job, or changing your major. Change is inevitable. 

21. Always remember who you are inside, a lot of things will change in these next years but one thing will remain the same. You are YOU. 

Sleeping with a friend

Neon Tress new song is quite the eye catcher, lets be real it's what made you click some link which led you to here. Well let me tell you if you haven't had the chance to hear the song the lyrics to the song are quite true as well. "Why mess up a good thing baby? It's a risk to even fall in love. So when you give that look to me, I better look back carefully cause this is trouble, yes it's trouble." We all know there are risks to falling in love, or getting involved with someone...the biggest one that flashes like a neon sign in your mind is I WILL GET MY HEART BROKEN. Hate to break the news but this maybe true, it could very well end with a shattered heart.

Lets just say thats the case... you got in a relationship and it ended bad, very bad, and now you're left to pick up the pieces. So what comes next? Do you join the lonely hearts club? Go on the hunt for a new, hotter version of the last guy? Or should you drown you pain in a bottle of wine and a Netflix binge of Pretty Little Liars? Here's a suggestion, just a thought, but why don't you do none of these and focus on yourself instead. Many of us connect the word happiness with the word relationship. And although the word could very much connect with love, it isn't dependent on the type you get from a boyfriend or girlfriend. Love and happiness first start with YOU. Love yourself first then someone else can love you back. After you've spent some time for you, then pick yourself up and try again. Here's another tip, this ones for the girls, you can not compare every guy to your ex. All guys are not "the same," there are still good guys out there ladies so don't fret it. Also you can't completely close your heart of because the last two jerks decided it was more of a game than something actually involving your feelings. You will never be able to get past this unless you let your guard down once again and give it a go. Why let love pass you by when it's knocking on your door. I may just be a hopeless romantic, or I may have just watched one too many pintrest wedding videos,  but you have to have hope that there will be a person out there just for you. It will be a risk, don't get me wrong, but it should be a risk you're willing to take. Make sure you give it all you've got, try with everything in you and if it doesn't work out who cares. You enjoyed the time you spent together, and now you know that this person isn't YOUR person. That doesn't mean he/she isn't out there, they are it just might take a few tries to get to them. That's life, so just live it.

xx.

A picture taken at a friend's bridal shower, see love does exist ! 

Awkward

I wrote this the other night and didn't get around to posting it until now...

How can one be so incredibly awkward? For example the other day a co-woker of mine said she would be celebrating her 32nd anniversary this week with her husband,  my response was "I can't even hold a conversation with a guy for 32 minutes." I can't handle myself sometimes. Seriously I have an issue here guys, Im sitting on my bed contemplating if I should go out tonight. You see a friend of mine, who may perhaps be of the male species invited me to come over and hang out with a group of people, other "humans." But here's my dilemma, remember how i've mentioned I am so socially awkward, well I haven't been in a social setting other than work in months. I know for a fact that Im going to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Another big issue is I know that no one in this town is accepting at first glance, and if you haven't already met me you should know I'm not your typical College Station "sorority girl." Im a little bit rough around the edges, and I see a little beyond the whole "going to school and marrying some cowboy you met at Hurricane Harrys" life story. So the question, do I go or do I stay, which by the way I think is a song? Getting back on track, Im thinking I will go and see how it is. Who know's it could be a lot of fun, I need to stop being such a homebody and go out and live. I suppose Ill go now...wish me luck.

Im back, and guess what I was defiantly right about not knowing anyone. Of about fifty people I knew one. So as you can suspect it wasn't the best night of my life. Frat parties in this town are like celebrities in LA. They are everywhere, and if you're not dating a guy in that fraternity or if you're not in a sorority yourself then you look completely out of place. That is just what I was, out of place. I looked like I didn't belong there, I wasn't wearing heels and I didn't have on Kendra Scott earrings so ovbi I didn't belong. The one person I did know, the guy, he made things better if it wasn't for him I would have walked straight out. Nights like these remind me of why I don't necessarily like living in this city anymore. Id like to move somewhere that is more accepting of differences and creativity.  Somewhere were it is encouraged to be different, not a clone of everyone else. I've started to see a trend within the people here, they are all the exact same! They all look the same, blonde highlights with long curls. They all dress the same, comfort color tank tops with nike shorts. And they all do the same things, go pre game at Rebels or Chimmys then get trashed on the street of the North Gate. How about someone change it up a bit. Throw in some outdoor adventure, a hike or biking trail. Also add some new people, different people. Then lastly top it off with some amazing food of another culture. Because let's be honest Im tired of eating Feugo people. I need change, and now. So often people get wrapped into this cycle of going to college, meeting someone straight out of the gate, then getting married and settling down. WHYYYYYYYYYY? Break the cycle move someone exciting, pack your bags and try something different, something challenging. See if you sink or swim and if worst comes to worst at least you learned something from it. Take the chance, see where you end up.

Miss me when I'm gone

well well well...

Its been a while, a very LONG while. I have a very good excuse to my disappearing act I have made, one that is both very sad and extremely exciting. Since my last post my laptop decided it was ready to quit on me. It had a vey good run though, I will say, a great five years that baby lasted me. I never had problems with it util the very end. I started to get viruses and then the screen decided one day it just wasn't going to work. I was heartbroken, I use my laptop daily, pintrest and tumblr aren't going to re post themselves people. Also I sort of have this hobby, I write a blog, so you can clearly see my shatters pieces of my heart.  Days turned into weeks, I was going sir crazy! I have a tablet so that gave my my social media fix, but trust me it's incredibly hard to write a blog entry on those things. Now lets get to the more cheerful part of the story, I have returned to the computer world! YAY, but that's not even the gist of the great news, I have returned with... (drum roll please) a Macbook Pro!! Yes thats right, I've transferred my pc life to apple. I couldn't be happier with my decision, but let me tell you it wasn't an easy choice, seeing that apple computers cost nearly an arm and leg maybe even a finger or two. I couldn't wrap my head around spending that amount of money just for a computer, I mean clearly the first thought of having that much money Id want to go shopping and spend it all on clothes, but after pondering that idea I shook it off because lets be honest I have a TON of clothes and lord knows I don't need more or have enough hangers either way. I knew I had the money to afford an apple computer seeing that my tax return this year was fairly higher than normal, but still I struggled with the decision. I questioned a few friends, texted some family members asking their opinion, and even took to Facebook to see what the majority of people use out there. Turns out, not a shocker here, but everyone seems to be in love with Macbooks. I had one final person I wanted to put in the hot seat before I really committed to my decision, the sales man as Best Buy. After asking tons and tons of questions, some that really had no relevance what so ever, I made my choice. It was clear, GO FOR IT, I mean yolo right? After signing my life away on a tiny dotted line at the bottom of my receipt I walked out with my head held high and a new laptop in hand! So I know what you're thinking, that I immediately sped home to tear open the packaging and start playing, and if you know me at all that is what I wanted to do. But today mother nature has a different plan for me. See last night was quite a toss and turning one, I went to bed with the sniffles and woke up with a full blown cold. Yuck, right? I felt terrible all morning and the fact that I had a 7:30 shift today didn't go over to well with my body. I pushed through and worked with a smile on for my guest. So after getting off, and picking up my computer, the only thing I wanted to do was hit the sheets. Ive since napped, finished my taxes, taken a hot bubble bath, and lastly set up my computer. Did I mention I GOT A MAC? Still so excited about this people. So Im glad to inform you I will be reuniting with my oh so fabulous blog, I'm sorry this post is fairly short but girls got to get her rest so back to bed for me.

xx.

I dedicate this one to you

We all have that one person who is in our past for a very clear reason, actually we may have a few people. One that comes to mind for me personally would be an ex boyfriend. That term "ex" just makes me want to hold my ears tight and scream. College and young adult life is full of heartbreaks and tons of walkers. I like to call the people who come into your life for a short period of time "walkers," this type of person could be someone you meet at a party, a short lived friend, or my favorite a uncommitted ex boyfriend. Take my word for it I've delt with quite a handful of "walkers" over the past year.

Here's the thing though, my one person from my past, the one that makes me want to scream isn't a quote on quote bad person. Good people sometimes can make bad choices, but do we hold it against them or find it in our heart to forgive them? We are all at the age where we are growing and learning from mistakes that will shape us and make us the person we want to be. But in order to get to that point don't you think there will be a few bumps along the way? Just because you have a map doesn't mean you wont get lost. This person just didn't know how to read directions very well, clearly.

More than once we have traveled down the path we once were on together, reminiscing on what good memories we shared. We've also butted heads multiple times disagreeing over what really went wrong. His reasoning; he wasn't ready, nor had the time for a relationship. And me on the defense; I was treated like a doormat, completely walked over. But we are both in the wrong, he should have appreciated a good thing when he had it, not after it was lost. And I should have stood up for myself when I was knocked down time and time again. Many would say that this person doesn't deserve to know what I think about him now, but this isn't for him its for me and it's for you. For the girl who still dwells on the past, and thinks about that one guy and what she did wrong. We've all been that girl  at one point, and its time we warn the younger girls so they don't go threw what you and I have.There was a reason that this relationship didn't work, who's to say that it wont work later on down the road. Or who's to say that this wont lead you into something greater. I am not bitter about what happened, I know not every relationship will work out. I know that because it didn't work that God has something so much greater planned for me, and im excited to see what he has in store.

You take what happened and you learn from it, grow from it. That is exactly what I did, I took all of that energy spent trying to make someone else happy, who mind you didn't want to be, and focused it all on myself. How can you fall in love with someone if you don't first love yourself. On this journey I have learned so much about myself, I've started to discover what I actually want in a person, what I need to work on when it comes to relationships, and most importantly I've learned im no where near ready to even get into a relationship. At the prime age of twenty one there is a endless amount of possibilities, the road is wide open for me to go wherever my heart desires, and because of that I'd like to personally thank that guy for breaking my heart. You have given me the push I needed to really discover who I am, and you have molded me into a better person. Ill also thank him on behalf of the guy that I do end up with. I know that he is going to love me because of what you have forced me to do, which is focus on myself. I wish you nothing but happiness so here's to you!

they say were too young to amount to anything else

**Random thought, I am obsessed with the new 5SOS song "She Looks So Perfect" and I currently have it on repeat while writing this blog so if I randomly start typing some strange song lyrics that's where it's coming from. 

Texas I have returned! It was such a loooooooooooooong flight (no im not exaggerating!) Our flight was delayed, then we had to sit behind literally twelve other planes inline for the runway, and once we finally got in the air it was another three hour nearly four hour flight. I spend the majority of the flight reading since the WiFi was down (rubbish I know.) I also spent the majority of the trip trying out new accents and completely annoyed Nicole with them as much as possible, it was quite funny, but to be fair most people in New York are not indeed from the city so everyone had accents I was just being like them. Anyways, so our trip was so exciting the days were long but I feel like the time flew right past us. We're jumping right back into our everyday lives tomorrow, going back to work and class. Should be amusing to see what we end up texting each other throughout the day tomorrow in regards to wishing we were back in NY.  (If there are any funny ones Ill screen shot them and post them hehe) While on this mini vacation I had a ton of realization that I may not be in the right state, I mean obliviously I'm open about my love of wanting to travel, but I feel like this trip just really set that wish into motion. I met so many people from different places all over the world and it really made me think, "what am I doing with MY life?" Like really where am I going, who am I meeting, and what places am I seeing by sitting in Texas? I want to learn a new language, and learn about different cultures, and try new foods that I've never heard of. This year I turn 22 and I've read many places that this will be the best year in your twenty's so I say BRING IT ON. Im ready for the adventures, the challenges, and all the bumps in the road that comes along with these changes. I'm so down for the change, for new things. I really want the excitement that comes along with it too! (If anyone has any ideas as to some new things or places I should do or see please send them my way.) 


Already this year is proving to be one for lots of great changes, and exciting experiences. Just a few days before my trip I was talking to a girl I work with saying how that once this trip was over I wouldn't have anything to look forward to, but boy was I wrong! For example this weekend I have plans to go to the Houston Museum of Natural Science, then for my little sisters tenth birthday my family is going camping, after that the rodeo will be coming up and hopefully going to see my girl sg again, then atx festival, a few trips to Austin here and there, SUMMER, my birthday, then on aug 22 I will be in the same room as HAROLD STYLES people when I go see the 1D concert where I will more than likely pass out and die in which the rest of the year wont even matter.... so. 


Well as if you couldn't tell already this post  random and really didn't make much since at all because I just sort of wrote random things here and there, IM TIRED PEOPLE. I just got off of being on a plane for over five hours. With that I think I will finally go to sleep. 


Oh I will leave you with some lyrics, 

if you don't swim, you'll drown.  

Airport madness

Hello there, so I'm finally at the airport waiting to board my flight back home to Texas. I was going to blog on my computer while I waited but the wifi here is messed up or something (I'm not really sure) sooo I'm writing this on my iPhone. Which isn't the BEST way of blogging so bare with me here! I know that I wanted to write more while I was on my trip but we were seriously so incredible busy that it was nearly impossible to do such a thing. When I return home I'm hoping to get right back in my grove and catch you guys up to speed with everything that happened. 

Just a quick side note, I did get a tattoo. & yes I will do a whole blog post just about the process of that whole ordeal later.

Other than that I will leave you guessing about the rest of the trip. Until I reach my next wifi spot xx. 

NYC; night4 day3

Hey little darlings, I've been so busy these past couple of days that I haven't really blogged just due to lack of sleep, once we make it back to our hotel room I'm always just so exhausted. Today was no exception either, SUPER BUSY, and tons of walking. Just a short little summary of the day; we spent the most part of our afternoon at the National American History museum! It was such a fun place, this is where they shot all the Night at the Museum movies so it was cool getting to see it all in person. There were endless amounts of cool exhibits and crowds of people. We did some shopping on the upper west side afterwards, then made our way back to midtown. In the cab ride back we decided to go to the Discovery museum in Times Square where we selected the Body Worlds Pulse exhibit, (If you don't know what that is look it up, trust me) it was incredible and I believe they had it in Houston at one time. Our night was a fantastic one, we had third row tickets to see Chicago on Broadway. We were directly in the center, and felt like we were right in the action!! Dinner finished off our day at Planet Hollywood, where we had the BEST waitior ever. Overall today was another great day in the city!!