Awkward

I wrote this the other night and didn't get around to posting it until now...

How can one be so incredibly awkward? For example the other day a co-woker of mine said she would be celebrating her 32nd anniversary this week with her husband,  my response was "I can't even hold a conversation with a guy for 32 minutes." I can't handle myself sometimes. Seriously I have an issue here guys, Im sitting on my bed contemplating if I should go out tonight. You see a friend of mine, who may perhaps be of the male species invited me to come over and hang out with a group of people, other "humans." But here's my dilemma, remember how i've mentioned I am so socially awkward, well I haven't been in a social setting other than work in months. I know for a fact that Im going to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Another big issue is I know that no one in this town is accepting at first glance, and if you haven't already met me you should know I'm not your typical College Station "sorority girl." Im a little bit rough around the edges, and I see a little beyond the whole "going to school and marrying some cowboy you met at Hurricane Harrys" life story. So the question, do I go or do I stay, which by the way I think is a song? Getting back on track, Im thinking I will go and see how it is. Who know's it could be a lot of fun, I need to stop being such a homebody and go out and live. I suppose Ill go now...wish me luck.

Im back, and guess what I was defiantly right about not knowing anyone. Of about fifty people I knew one. So as you can suspect it wasn't the best night of my life. Frat parties in this town are like celebrities in LA. They are everywhere, and if you're not dating a guy in that fraternity or if you're not in a sorority yourself then you look completely out of place. That is just what I was, out of place. I looked like I didn't belong there, I wasn't wearing heels and I didn't have on Kendra Scott earrings so ovbi I didn't belong. The one person I did know, the guy, he made things better if it wasn't for him I would have walked straight out. Nights like these remind me of why I don't necessarily like living in this city anymore. Id like to move somewhere that is more accepting of differences and creativity.  Somewhere were it is encouraged to be different, not a clone of everyone else. I've started to see a trend within the people here, they are all the exact same! They all look the same, blonde highlights with long curls. They all dress the same, comfort color tank tops with nike shorts. And they all do the same things, go pre game at Rebels or Chimmys then get trashed on the street of the North Gate. How about someone change it up a bit. Throw in some outdoor adventure, a hike or biking trail. Also add some new people, different people. Then lastly top it off with some amazing food of another culture. Because let's be honest Im tired of eating Feugo people. I need change, and now. So often people get wrapped into this cycle of going to college, meeting someone straight out of the gate, then getting married and settling down. WHYYYYYYYYYY? Break the cycle move someone exciting, pack your bags and try something different, something challenging. See if you sink or swim and if worst comes to worst at least you learned something from it. Take the chance, see where you end up.