Friday nights

Tonight's dinner was at a cute little Italian resultant close to my job. I enjoyed the company of my mom, the music of the house band, and the great food! Overall wonderful dinner, now I'm snuggled in bed with my book and netflix. 

.xx

day five (6 day to day things you like to do)

So with this post I have just confirmed that I am extremely anti social and need to work on that.

I love to read. All kinds of books, but im a sucker for romance. Some of my favorite authors include Sarah Dessen, Stephenie Meyer, Nicholas Sparks, Ann Brashares, E. L. James, Sylvia Day etc.

Like any typical white girl I really love to shop. When I have money, which is an extremely rare occasion since im as broke as a joke (wow that was not funny!) I like so shop at forever, urban outfitters, h&m, express, an any place that has something cute. Not too worried about labels, im a bargain shopper.

Obsessed with watching One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl and The Vampire Diaries on Netflix. This is a daily must.

Okay so this is a little embarrassing, actually no I really don't care if you think it's stupid because I love to do it. I love to stay up watching YouTube videos. Make up and hair tutorials, book reviews, fangirl videos, one direction funny moment videos, oh and anything that has Nash Grier Cameron Dallas or Thats so Jack in it i'll watch!

(Again, just stating the obvious fact that I am so anti social and have more friends on socal media sites than in real life haha)

Im a huge fan of Pintrest and Tumblr-- yeah I know go ahead and shake your head some more.

Last, I love to eat. Like alot. More than your normal 108 pound girl. Don't ask how I stay so tiny, I honestly have no clue. By the way I eat I promise you I should weigh like 300 pounds.



So that's that.

day four (7 things that cross your mind alot)

Not trying to be funny in any way, in all seriousness this is the random things that cross my mind.

"Im hungry, im always hungry."

"I want to move to a different county. EUROPE EUROPE EUROPE!"

"I need more sleep, what was I thinking staying up so late?"

*ANYTHING ONE DIRECTION

"When was the last time I washed my hair?"

"What tv show's come on tonight?"

"Why don't I have more friends? Oh yeah Im strange!"

day three (8 ways to win my heart)

You have to be a believer in God. Have a great relationship with him first, then me.

You have to be funny, make me laugh & smile.

You have to be adventurous/ spontaneous.

You have to be romantic, doing little things just because.

You have to have goals and dreams you're chasing after, be ambitious.

You have to keep things interesting, all ways have me on my toes.

You have to love cuddling, and being affectionate.

You have to have a passion for living life everyday to the fullest.

day two (9 things about yourself)

So it's been a couple of days since my last post. It's just my life is super busy and I have no time to write... NOT. I have been the complete opposite of busy, just have been doing a lot of reading the past couple of nights (around the time I normally blog.) So Im thinking I may write a few post tonight.

Jumping right into the ten day challenge (that I've clearly been horrible at)
day two-- 9 things about myself

I've recently have been interested in maybe becoming an English major
(Que dramatic music)
I know this may come to be a shocker, or plot twist but most people who know me know I love to read and write. This week while doing a clients hair she was telling me all about the great classes she takes with this major. Sounded really quite interesting and sparked a fire inside my mind. Obviously I've been wanting to go back to school but have been so indecisive as to what I really want to major in, so here's this new fact about me!

When people ask me where I would like to travel my response is always so quick and certain- "ANYWHERE in Europe!" And although that answer is still at the top of my list I now would like to add Australia. I really think I would enjoy visiting and would love to go someday.

Following up with the traveling fact about myself, another thing about me is I would love to do salon abroad. Now this is similar to study abroad, where you travel to another country to study a subject. However instead of it being based on school it would be me traveling to learn techniques and trends to do with hair styling, color, and hair cutting. I think this would be perfect for me, doing what I love (hair dressing) and traveling at the same time!!

As if my dramatic filled life doesn't give it away, I really enjoy plays, musicals, and anything theatrical! I secretly always wished I could be in a play or musical. But trust me you don't want me to because I am a HORRIBLE singer.

Mentioning singing, fun fact I know a ton of songs. And I don't just mean in the category of One Direction and Selena Gomez. I love all types of music and im like a walking music library. I can not remember what I ate for lunch on Tuesday but I can remember every lyric to a song after one listen. I mean it, I think my memory is so strange. Could be a result of the many concussions I've experienced, but I promise you if you told me something important in a song I would totally remember opposed to just texting it to me.  

I am a typical white girl when it comes to my TV shows. I am the one who sets their DVR every Monday to record The Bachelor, and I watch it faithfully every season. I am such a sucker for romance (even if it's staged) and I get so into that show its a tad ridiculous.

If I had the determination I would love to learn how to play guitar, just throwing that out there.

Just like my musical memory, I also know everything there is to know about celebrities. In all seriousness I should work for E News! I would be so fantastic at it. Not to toot my own horn, but toot toot. Im the stalker of all stalkers of celebs. Especially One Direction.
(Maybe I shouldn't be admitting this-- oh well)

Last one! Here is a secrete, I have a huge fear of dying in a car accident. I've been in a few wrecks and the outcome of them resulted in me having extreme anxiety in cars. At one point it was so bad that I would avoid going anywhere at all cost, and if I did have to drive somewhere I would take only feeders. I know it's silly and I was a battle of my own that I had to overcome. I've gotten alot better, and that isn't a result of some sort of pill helping control my anxiety. The king of kings is what got me over this fear. With prayers and trusting God I overcame my fear and anxiety.

10 day challenge-- day one (10 things you would say to ten different people right now)

I love you. I hate you. I wish sometimes I never met you. I also wish sometimes that you never left. I hate how even now it controls me. I just want to let it all go, but it's like you have a hold on me. Can't I just be free?

You're so inspiring, the love that you bring to the world and the ones around you is beautiful. I wish everyday that I could be more like you. I love you so incredibly much and I hope you continue to smile and shine for a very long time, my lovie.

I didn't understand you much before, for that I am sorry. I hope that I have made you proud. I will take all that you have ever said to me and cherish it forever. I know that God is protecting you, healing you, and watching over you always. For you to be in my life I will forever be grateful.

Even through trials and bumps in the road I know that you are one of the strongest people I know. You continue to push through that difficult times you face, I envy that. For so long you would look up to me, but now it's my turn to look up to you. You're courageous and brave, you will forever be loved.

How dare you.

Why don't you see what you're doing. I hate that have any resentment because I really do love you so much. But open you're eyes, its hurting us. We just want a little piece of you back. I miss you.

I sometimes think maybe we made the mistake of saying goodbye. But we were young and clearly not ready. I will always remember the times we shared, they will always stay with me. If anyone knows how amazing you are its me, you deserve happiness. And it looks as if you've found it, im so glad you did. Don't forget thought.

Thank you for all the countless conversations, the numerous late night phone calls, the tears shed, the laughs, and the memories. Throughout life I know we will continue to be the greatest of friends, no matter what. I love you.

I wish sometimes that you would just give us a chance. We both know it would be great.

I just want you to understand the struggles I face, and treat me equal.

Wedding

Today at work we had an on site wedding and I snapped a few pictures of the decor for the reception, take a peak! 

I wish someone had told me

Ever think back to when you were younger and wish that you could have for warned yourself for what was to come. Give yourself a heads up, a WARNING sign, or even advice you could take along the way?
__

Sometimes I wish I could go back to fifth grade, that was a hard year for a lot of kids. This was the year all the elementary schools combined into one (middle school.) For most kids this was the year you made new friends and lost a few old. The year when you started to care what you were dressing in everyday, and even the year where you stopped bringing your lunch to eat at the snack bar instead. Middle school was that make or break time, either you were "popular" or you were a "loser." No in between.  Braces and glasses were in full swing, girls started playing around with lip gloss and mascaras while boys were into skating and gameboys. I think Middle school was hard for me because I was so worried about what others thought about me. I think this really continued all the way through Jr High. If I could go back and tell my twelve year old self anything, I would say that none of the things that seem to matter so much right now will truly mean nothing years from now. It wont matter if you are wearing the coolest Mudd. jeans and you definitely wont care about what "she" said about you at the lunch table.

Middle School and Jr. High were the years that really effected me personally, trying desperately for the approval of everyone when in reality those "cool kids" opinions really mean nothing. I have a younger sister who is nine, and she is truly something special. Tall, long brown hair, tan skin, and slim. Shes a true beauty, I only hope that she would enjoy her years of grade school, not worrying about what the other kids in her class thought. I hope she does things to make HER happy. For example she has this pair of snow fur boots, (they are as awful as they sound trust me) and she wears them ALL of the time. Im not kidding you, 90 degree summer weather and she is outside strutting her stuff in those boots. But here is the thing about those boots, she loves them and she looks good wearing them because she wears them with a smile. I envy how awesome she truly is. She is growing to be such a outspoken fun little human and I hope she continues to do things that she loves. I don't want her to feel pressure from other kids at school to be just like them, rather be herself. God made her unique and perfect in her own way, and for that I want her to know she never has to change a single thing about herself.

__

Fast forward a few years to high school. (sigh)
Geeze louise I feel like just yesterday I was trying out for cheer-lading my freshmen year. I remember getting a tour of the high school a few days before classes started and thinking how will I ever survive this huge place with all these new eyes staring at me and new voices to be judged by. Then I didn't think I could make it, guess what Im here now so safe to say I made it out alive! Remember that Taylor Swift song, Fifteen?

Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say 

"you know, I haven't seen you around before" 

I think we can all remember our first "high school" crush, mine was a junior boy in heath class. Now this was the moment I wish I could have told myself that this boy would mean nothing to you years from now. He isn't your type, and you will never talk to him once he is gone. I most likely would have shook my head, because at the time I thought he was "perfect." Yeah he was perfect alright, perfectly NOT for me. 

But in your life you'll do things greater than

dating the boy on the football team

This would push us into sophomore year, where I really liked a guy on the football team. I mean who didn't like a guy on the football team? Here I wish I could tell myself that all the promises you think that he will keep will be broken and be left un kept. Remember how you thought he would make you "his" once season was over? Wrong he will then give you the excuse that baseball is coming up. Be smarter than him, keep him as a friend nothing more. 

 Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday

but I realized some bigger dreams of mine

 and Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind

and we both cried 

This was the big one. The game changer, junior year. This was the year things started to get real, and really fast did that happen. I wish I could tell myself that even though you think that he cares, he doesn't. That this is the time in a guys life where they will say and do anything to make you think that they are your one and only. This is false, and I wish more than ever that I wouldn't have let myself waste not only so much time on one person but also so many tears. When you think someone is so right for you at such a young age you truly are blinded by their wrong doings. You push aside all the bad and just see what you want. Don't let that happen.

And you just might find who you're supposed to be 

I didn't know that at fifteen 

Coming to a end, senior year. I wish that I could tell myself this would be the year that you really need to soak everything in. I think for everyone that year we just were so ready to get out. Ready for new adventures and experiences that we didn't fully enjoy the little moments that we soon would lose forever. Really take in the small things, such as your mom waking you up every morning with breakfast on the table. Or being able to walk into your little sisters room and steal her clothes. These simple things would be some of the things you can never get back. 

If I could turn back time and tell myself something I would say, enjoy this moment. Don't let any one take it from you. Worry less, dance a little more, smile with confidence and live the life YOU want to.


__


Even years later I still get caught up sometimes wishing I could go back and shake myself. I think we've all had those "what was I thinking moments," some more than others. No matter what we must always live each day out to the best of our ability. Take nothing for granted, remember our words leave impact on others, and make sure to tell the ones we care about how much we love them. Although I wish I could sometimes go back in time and tell myself these things, I can't. How ever I can tell myself what to do in the future. I mean after all it's us against the world, right?

SO Brittany, here is what I wan't you to do. I want you to wake up every morning with a smile. Make sure to thank your loving father and king for all that he has blessed you with. Always remember to give out good vibes and energy to others. Remember that it is okay to cry every now and then. Know that it's not the end of the world when something goes wrong. Always appreciate advice from others. Don't take it personal. Take that leap of faith and jump head first. Hold back no more. Follow your heart above all else. Never let fear in. Keep your head up. Don't let the "one that got away", get away. It's easy to say, harder to feel so let yourself feel. Take challenges by the horns. Embrace new things with an open mind. And last, enjoy youre life. After all you've only got one.

.xx

make it official?

So I've been writing my thoughts down for months and months in a journal. They never made since, just a girl writing down her feelings here and there. Over Christmas break I decided to take my writing to the next level and create a blog. I tried many sites, tried to find one I really liked. One that I could really make my own, with a cute simple design, one that would be easy to access, and one that would be easy to operate. (Seeing that I was coming from a pen and pad.) After a few failed attempts to finding a site that suited me, I think I have finally found a home!

At first I thought I would just have the blog for myself, then I thought well that's silly I could still use my journal if I wanted to keep it to myself. So then I figure okay Ill start an anonymous blog! Yeah, stupid idea there too. Pondered back and forth of the idea of making my blog public, for many reason of course. The first being "what will people think," Im not all that clever, and I mean come on who want's to read a boring blog. SO I started to write outside of the box, or just out of my comfort zone. None of the blogs I first wrote made their debut to the site, I just wanted to keep the first few tries private. (So hopefully im not so boring since I've had a little practice.) The next big reason was, I don't want people to judge the things I write. I feel a blog is a personal space for you to write you're true thoughts down with out hesitation of others disagreement. And finally a big reason for the questioning, what if I write something and it gets me in trouble. Maybe with friends, family, or work etc.

*Mom, Dad if you read something you don't like just close the tab & please don't send me a long text following  

After the constant battle within myself, I've decided to make it official and GO PUBLIC.

With that, I hope that whoever decides to tune in will keep an open mind, not take what I say personal, and truly get an insite on my thoughts and feelings. On the blog I hope to write post about my daily life, travels, random post (that probably wont make much since,) fashion and hair, and problems that I face along the way.

Is this real

Heard people outside my window sliding around on various opjects (trashcan lid, boggie board, shoes etc) and decided to check my weather app to see just how cold it was. Cant believe what it said!

Try to stay warm
.xx

books, warm blankets, tea, & snow

Heya everybody, hope everyone has had a lovely Thursday.

It is a bit cold today compared to the past couple of days. Had to break out a few extra throw blankets this morning to snuggle up with. While most people are complaining the weather is a tad icky, im however loving it. Im using this as a test run for my trip to New York (which is coming up shorty, 26 more days!) I've been bundling up, adding lots of layers to my daily outfits and trying out a few new pairs of boots. There is no better time to break them in than now.

My Thursday was a pretty laid back day. I got to sleep in a extra bit today, seeing that my work day didn't start until two pm this afternoon. I did a bit of room cleaning, I've been playing around with my furniture moving and rearranging it up. (I finally got a look that I like after three separate tries) I seem to always change my room after a few months just so I don't get bored with it. At work today I had two of my favorite clients come in for haircuts, my wonderful grandma(s.)

To others it seems funny that my parents are divorced, yet my grandparents are still friends regardless. But to me I've always known them to be the best of friends, so it's normal. 

After a not so busy work day I was headed to get my things to return home, and quickly noticed that I (stupidly) forgot to grab a coat on my way out the door this afternoon. Needless to say running in rainy 30 degree weather with OUT a jacket was terrible, but the car ride home made it even worse. *note to self always bring a jacket no matter what. Once home and in heat, I happily changed into sweat pants and a hoodie. Dinner was quite, none of my roommates were around tonight. Duck Dynasty was my background choice for this dinner. Since I've caught up on some light reading, articles, news stories, the Justin Bieber scandal, and scrolled through my twitter account.  

All in all today has been light, and pretty normal. 

(Minus the JB arrest lol)

.xx

goodbye

Some thing always brings me back to you, im sure are words we have all said. There is always those moment’s when you start to break at the cracks just a little. A moment of weakness when you let the old memories flow in, and they just crash onto you. All these emotions at once, AH! So what do you do? Why do we let our past creep back in? Im pretty sure I can speak for a lot of girls when I say that, just when things are going good that is the single moment when either an ex tries to make his way back in or something goes wrong and changes the path of “goodness.” I mean it was too go to be true, who were you to think that you could have it good for a while. Jokes on you, Right?

WRONG

Ladies we need to be strong, these are the moments that we can define ourselves and really prove them wrong. We DON’T need them. There is a reason they are in the past, and not in your present. Keep them there, don’t let them tip toe their way back in. So be strong, hold your self and your standards high. Remember that you are in control of your feelings, not them. They have no control over you or your path. Why do you want to waste your time going in the wrong direction, backwards is not the correct way. Ignore the late night texts, bock the stupid snapchat pictures, and change the sad song on the radio. Trust me get rid of his number, get rid of all the numbers of the people who do no good for you. Weed out the bad, starting with him. God will always bring you through testing times, and this is one. Stand firm and remember that you deserve more than what dirtbag ex boyfriends bring to the table. The king of all kings has a prince in store for you, and I promise once that person is reviled to you it will and forever will be worth the wait. The feeling that I get when I think to myself that there is a person God created just for me, someone that will completely accept me for all that I am and more (even the corky things I do) is such a great thing to think about. Live in this moment just for you. Come to peace with yourself, discover who you are and what it is that you truly want. At 21 im pretty sure you have a lot to figure out before you go getting into any serious relationships anyway. Be selfish for once in your life and let yourself explore, get into trouble and experience new and exciting adventures.

So lets say goodbye, say goodbye to the old person who would let others back into their lives when they didn’t deserve a second chance. Say goodbye to old habits, not putting yourself first. & finally say goodbye, to the word no and start to say yes to new memories.

.xx

response to 25 things

Okay so I’m not one to really care what others say about articles because yeah I get it we are each entitled to our own opinion.  HOWEVER I do think that in that category falls the young lady who wrote to article on her OWN blog. So what if she wants to stand in front of a window naked, maybe it makes her feel dangerous and free, why do you care if she thinks traveling the world would be more exciting instead of marrying at a young age? You care because you were offended. Most people who didn’t like the article are in a relationship, and most people who did like the article are not. This doesn’t mean that being single means your life sucks. It just means she has learn to embrace life on her own, and enjoys it this way. Why would you want to be in a relationship at 19 or 22 when you haven’t seen the world or even half the people in it.

In my opinion, you may think you’re ready to be married but news flash you’re not! Sure you can argue all your “valid” points but I will still stand firm in my decision that you should not be getting married so young. You have not lived! You are still growing up, and you need to grow into the person you want to be. Here are a few things (no I didn’t pick a number in the twenty’s– im just going to write and then when I’m done ill stop) that I would rather do then get married.

(In no particular order)

1. Have a dance party with a stranger

2. Start a series on Netflix and don’t stop watching till you finish

3. Learn yoga, and meditation

4. Go for a walk, no destination just start walking

5. Drag your best friend to a One Direction concert, because she will have fun (no matter what she says)

6. Go study abroad

7. Spend a day at an animal shelter

8. Ride a roller coaster

9. Take a road trip

10. Make a Taylor Swift playlist and sing it like you’re singing to your Ex

11. Then make peace with your past  (including that ex)

12. Go to a drive in movie theater

13. Write a short story

14. Hula Hoop

15. Try something new, a sport, a restaurant, anything!

16. Tell someone you’re honest opinion

17. Start loving yourself, including all your imperfections

18. Read the bible everyday

19. Join a gym, and actually go workout

20. Tan in the sun, rather than in a bed

21. Call your grandpa just to say hello

22. Move to a new country

23. Listen to a full Lady Gaga cd, even if you don’t want to

24. Buy a cat, it will be fun (or funny either way)

25. Instead of eating nutella, eat a whole carton of Bluebell ice cream WAY BETTER

26. Read a book other than Nicholas Sparks cover to cover

27. Buy a cd, don’t illegally download it

28. Stop worrying about money, all your bills will get paid trust me

29. Accept the fact that not everyone will like you

30. Tell someone about God

31. Be more crafty

33. Know its okay to not follow the rules, (hint skipped 32)

34. START A BLOG AND WRITE WHATEVER COMES TO MIND. Even if it doesn’t make since or sound super witty write what you’re feeling.

.xx

look after you

The current song playing on my Pandora would be the explanation of the title. Not sure I wasn’t more original in picking my own title, but there it is. There is no real reason behind this post, other than the simple fact I feel like writing a little. SO bare with me if it is a tad random and spread out. 

—

As I sit outside I feel the need to just want to scream for a moment. It could be the frustration of being stuck in this town, could be the stress of money, not having any food in my refrigerator.. or all of the above. Sometimes we all just need to have a good vent sesh. Here’s mine. I honestly feel as if Im in a rut. Suck in a life I don’t want. I feel if I could leave this town my life would be more complete- right now I just feel something is off balance. Im really eager to move and live in a different city. Which is strange because I was so excited to move here, but it’s not going how I imagined. They say the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, but im sure it’s better than this brown dirt over here. Nothing seems like it fits me here anymore, Im over the whole party every night, staying up drinking, and im for sure over the frat dirtbags. I have served my purpose here and now I feel its time for me to take the next step and jump into my next adventure. 
__

How do we get out of life’s little ruts is the next question. I feel as though I simply have to truly jump head first and leave all the rest in the past. Let it all go, not look back. I just need to completely focus on myself and not think about the rest. I have to do what is right for me, im the only one in control of what I want out of this world. No one else has as good of intentions for myself more than me. I need to take matters into my own hands and control my next move, not let others hold me back or hold me from being all that I can be. Today as I looked around at my co workers it literally hit me that they all (minus a few) have such boring lives. They all started their careers at such a young age, started getting married, having children and just get stuck in a routine. For me to be surrounded with people who all kind of just settled made me so sad. Im no where near ready to settle down in some small town. Traveling is in my blood, I can’t stay in one place for long. Also I sure as hell don’t want to marry someone here, there is billions of people in this world why would I pick some country bum who will not change the world what so ever. I want to venture out, explore the world meet people all over then settle. That could take years.

(me screaming)

Ready for the next chapter of my story. Im so excited to see what all God has in store for me. I know that adventure is coming my way. Im tired of settling and im truly ready for whatever is thrown my way. 

Lists, I love lists so lets make one. 

(Here is my list I hope to be able to check off soon)

-Move

-Take a road trip

-Go to coachella 

-Visit the UK

-See as many concerts and shows as possible 

-Get a tattoo

-Quit something (if you're not happy, it's ok)

-Get noticed by someone in 1D

-Go to sundance

-See snow

-Shop on 5th avenue 

-Try sushi 

-Own a mac computer

-Purchase a new car

-Cut my bangs 

(those were the first 15 that came to mind haha)

Anyway I guess I’ve come to a close for this blog.

Till next time.

.xx

break the chains

Have you ever felt like something is holding you back? 

It could be a person, a job, a relationship etc. Why do we feel stuck, like we can’t break free? We shouldn’t be scared, we should embrace the new beginning and step forward. We can’t allow others or things to keep us from venturing out from new experiences and opportunities. 

Life is full of testing points, and this just may be one of them. It’s up to you to decide who holds your future. Take control of your journey and don’t let things stop you. In this world we will have times to make choices just for us. We can not think about the effect on others for just a moment in time, do what is best for you. At twenty one you have no idea what is going to happen. Things can up and change in a flash, but that is the beauty of life at our age. We have time to live, to make mistakes, to figure out who we want to be. This right here is you’re moment to take life by the horns and jump head first. Fall, into life’s beauty. Take a chance, move to a new city. Quit your job and take a week off, go on a vacation. Trust me do it now, while you still have time. One day when you’re married and have children you will not be able to roam the world freely whenever you want to. Be adventurous and make rash decisions, do something just for you.

It amazes me that people my age are getting married and having children. I just can not wrap my head around that, why would someone want to tie their selves down at such an early age? Maybe it’s just me, and my free spiritual self but why wouldn’t someone rather go travel around the world and see what else this beautiful universe has to offer. We are at a time in our lives where it is so important to just break down all the little things. Figure out what you like, what you hate, I just really wish people would understand how much there is outside of little towns like the ones I’ve lived in. We get so caught up in our jobs, in leases, and in contracts that we settle because we are TOO scared to risk it all. So you loose it? Make yourself strong enough to make it ten times better than before. Trust me the hardest part is just saying goodbye, once you get that over with you’re just going to get into a new rhythm of saying “yes” rather than the easy no. If you’re not scared or nervous, then you aren’t pushing yourself far enough. Put yourself in an awkward situation and see what happens, if anything it will make you stronger. And id say that’s a gain not a loss. Seriously get off your butt, go tell your boss how you really feel, move to a new city, and start a new life for yourself. Meet new people, and try new things. See where the wind takes you and enjoy every moment of it. Now is you’re time to be free. 

No rules, just live.

.xx