positive minds, good vibes

When you let negativity creep into your life, it will start to consume you. Recently I have been struggling with negativity in my life, anywhere from negative people, to negative thoughts. We all have times when we get down on ourselves but do we actually realize when we do this that it is starting to control our every thought. When you sit in a circle with friends talking about things you don't like you vibe off each others words, you continue to bring out negative thoughts to the surface and then before you know it you are completely frustrated or overwhelmed with sadness.

When faced with this issue not too long ago, I turned to the one person who I knew would be honest and open to listen. My mom is the number one person I run to with any doubt or fear, when I have a problem she usually comes up with a great solution. I was so upset about something that happened and within moments of my story telling she flat out told me that I was being a drama queen, no surprise in that. She is always honest, but we all need to hear the cold hard truth every now and again. She next proceeded to solve the issue at hand, how do we stay positive in so much anger? We turn to God, we pray for peace, and we trust in all that he does. Complexity is something that has to be in our lives in order to test our faith, our morals, and our humanity. When thrown an issue its not about what you do to solve it, it's how you handle yourself in the process.  Oh and she also said "self help book's help a lot too," words of wisdom right there folks. She's right, often times we see so many problems in our lives that we forget the reason we are here.

While scrolling through my pintrest feed earlier today I came across this picture. It made me smile because I know I was shown this for a reason, when life has you pulled a million and one ways we lose focus on the importance of what truly matters. In order to fully let go of things that our bothering us or getting under our skin we have to give it all to him. We can't hold on to anger, or sadness that get's you no where. Cast your anxiety and you're fear on the lord. If you or someone you know is struggling with letting go I encourage you to turn to God, he s always there to comfort you. He knows every feeling you have and every thought that crosses your mind. Then surround yourself with encouraging people who will lift you up and project happiness onto your life. When you have yourself surround with negative people you will become them. 

Eliminate the problem, cast the emotions, and trust in him. 

Things you just need to accept

As a fellow twenty one year old I have learned a lot so far in my short year's of being in my "twenties." We need to learn to accept change, accept hurt, accept differences, and realize that things will not always be as they are right now. While in my teen years I set my expectations of life a little too high, and was quickly disappointed in realization that life will sometimes let you down, in the worst ways. In my twenties I've learned that although my expectations were very unrealistic that it is okay to dream a little, all things are possible, except maybe getting Harry Styles to notice me that most likely will NEVER happen. Here are a few of my realizations since entering my "twenties."

1. Your style is going to change, like everyday. Don't spend tons of money on clothes that you will most likely wear only a few times. 

2. It's better if you accept the fact now that you will indeed get your heart broke, maybe even more than once. Learn from it, don't hold it against every other guy out there. 

3. Now day's people can and will get jobs with out a degree, don't let it discourage you from finishing school. Finish what you've started it will be more rewarding, and you will get paid more.

4. Let's face it, we all have bad hair days, pimples, and pores the size of Pluto. So stop beating yourself up over that girls Instagram picture because trust me she did not "Wake up like this!" 

5. You will not always be broke, there will come a point in your life when you get tired of eating ramen noodles everyday and start budgeting more. Until that day comes, top ramen it up girl friend.

6. Yes sometimes you may get lonely, but trust me you're not the only one, take a number.

7. You can't always count on your "friends" sometimes you will be your best friend, embrace it now it will only make you stronger. 

8. Sometimes you will have to fight for what you believe, don't let others discourage you stand firm in your beliefs. Always remain a good person, no matter what the situation is. Morals count for more than "cool points."

9. We all do it, misjudge someone to quickly. Don't fret it,  just remember to take the time to really get to know someone. 

10. Like your wardrobe your body will also change a lot. Don't get yourself down over skipping that work out class, you deserve a break every now and then. 

11. You will stumble a few times, either because you've had too many cranberry vodkas, you're having a bad day at work, or a relationship just didn't quite go the way you planned. Here's the thing, brush yourself off and continue on. 

12. Do not let negativity run your life. Learn to stay positive no matter what. Take a yoga class, it will help.

13. Not everyone will like you, and if you think they will you will beat yourself up over it everyday.

14. Learn to let the past go, it's a new day keep moving onward. 

15. Stop trying to change what you see in the mirror, you are beautifully made. 

16. You will grow apart from friends, but don't frown, because there will be a few that will have such a strong relationship with you and will be there at your side while you grow old. 

17. You will forever need your parents, so don't even think for a second you won't. Call them just to say I love you.

18. God will never bring you to something he doesn't think you can't get through. Trust him, always.

19. Netflix will forever be there, it's okay to go see a real movie in theaters for a change.

20. You are going to change your mind almost all of the time, don't live you're life feeling guilty for ending that relationship, leaving your job, or changing your major. Change is inevitable. 

21. Always remember who you are inside, a lot of things will change in these next years but one thing will remain the same. You are YOU. 

Sleeping with a friend

Neon Tress new song is quite the eye catcher, lets be real it's what made you click some link which led you to here. Well let me tell you if you haven't had the chance to hear the song the lyrics to the song are quite true as well. "Why mess up a good thing baby? It's a risk to even fall in love. So when you give that look to me, I better look back carefully cause this is trouble, yes it's trouble." We all know there are risks to falling in love, or getting involved with someone...the biggest one that flashes like a neon sign in your mind is I WILL GET MY HEART BROKEN. Hate to break the news but this maybe true, it could very well end with a shattered heart.

Lets just say thats the case... you got in a relationship and it ended bad, very bad, and now you're left to pick up the pieces. So what comes next? Do you join the lonely hearts club? Go on the hunt for a new, hotter version of the last guy? Or should you drown you pain in a bottle of wine and a Netflix binge of Pretty Little Liars? Here's a suggestion, just a thought, but why don't you do none of these and focus on yourself instead. Many of us connect the word happiness with the word relationship. And although the word could very much connect with love, it isn't dependent on the type you get from a boyfriend or girlfriend. Love and happiness first start with YOU. Love yourself first then someone else can love you back. After you've spent some time for you, then pick yourself up and try again. Here's another tip, this ones for the girls, you can not compare every guy to your ex. All guys are not "the same," there are still good guys out there ladies so don't fret it. Also you can't completely close your heart of because the last two jerks decided it was more of a game than something actually involving your feelings. You will never be able to get past this unless you let your guard down once again and give it a go. Why let love pass you by when it's knocking on your door. I may just be a hopeless romantic, or I may have just watched one too many pintrest wedding videos,  but you have to have hope that there will be a person out there just for you. It will be a risk, don't get me wrong, but it should be a risk you're willing to take. Make sure you give it all you've got, try with everything in you and if it doesn't work out who cares. You enjoyed the time you spent together, and now you know that this person isn't YOUR person. That doesn't mean he/she isn't out there, they are it just might take a few tries to get to them. That's life, so just live it.

xx.

A picture taken at a friend's bridal shower, see love does exist ! 

Awkward

I wrote this the other night and didn't get around to posting it until now...

How can one be so incredibly awkward? For example the other day a co-woker of mine said she would be celebrating her 32nd anniversary this week with her husband,  my response was "I can't even hold a conversation with a guy for 32 minutes." I can't handle myself sometimes. Seriously I have an issue here guys, Im sitting on my bed contemplating if I should go out tonight. You see a friend of mine, who may perhaps be of the male species invited me to come over and hang out with a group of people, other "humans." But here's my dilemma, remember how i've mentioned I am so socially awkward, well I haven't been in a social setting other than work in months. I know for a fact that Im going to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Another big issue is I know that no one in this town is accepting at first glance, and if you haven't already met me you should know I'm not your typical College Station "sorority girl." Im a little bit rough around the edges, and I see a little beyond the whole "going to school and marrying some cowboy you met at Hurricane Harrys" life story. So the question, do I go or do I stay, which by the way I think is a song? Getting back on track, Im thinking I will go and see how it is. Who know's it could be a lot of fun, I need to stop being such a homebody and go out and live. I suppose Ill go now...wish me luck.

Im back, and guess what I was defiantly right about not knowing anyone. Of about fifty people I knew one. So as you can suspect it wasn't the best night of my life. Frat parties in this town are like celebrities in LA. They are everywhere, and if you're not dating a guy in that fraternity or if you're not in a sorority yourself then you look completely out of place. That is just what I was, out of place. I looked like I didn't belong there, I wasn't wearing heels and I didn't have on Kendra Scott earrings so ovbi I didn't belong. The one person I did know, the guy, he made things better if it wasn't for him I would have walked straight out. Nights like these remind me of why I don't necessarily like living in this city anymore. Id like to move somewhere that is more accepting of differences and creativity.  Somewhere were it is encouraged to be different, not a clone of everyone else. I've started to see a trend within the people here, they are all the exact same! They all look the same, blonde highlights with long curls. They all dress the same, comfort color tank tops with nike shorts. And they all do the same things, go pre game at Rebels or Chimmys then get trashed on the street of the North Gate. How about someone change it up a bit. Throw in some outdoor adventure, a hike or biking trail. Also add some new people, different people. Then lastly top it off with some amazing food of another culture. Because let's be honest Im tired of eating Feugo people. I need change, and now. So often people get wrapped into this cycle of going to college, meeting someone straight out of the gate, then getting married and settling down. WHYYYYYYYYYY? Break the cycle move someone exciting, pack your bags and try something different, something challenging. See if you sink or swim and if worst comes to worst at least you learned something from it. Take the chance, see where you end up.

Miss me when I'm gone

well well well...

Its been a while, a very LONG while. I have a very good excuse to my disappearing act I have made, one that is both very sad and extremely exciting. Since my last post my laptop decided it was ready to quit on me. It had a vey good run though, I will say, a great five years that baby lasted me. I never had problems with it util the very end. I started to get viruses and then the screen decided one day it just wasn't going to work. I was heartbroken, I use my laptop daily, pintrest and tumblr aren't going to re post themselves people. Also I sort of have this hobby, I write a blog, so you can clearly see my shatters pieces of my heart.  Days turned into weeks, I was going sir crazy! I have a tablet so that gave my my social media fix, but trust me it's incredibly hard to write a blog entry on those things. Now lets get to the more cheerful part of the story, I have returned to the computer world! YAY, but that's not even the gist of the great news, I have returned with... (drum roll please) a Macbook Pro!! Yes thats right, I've transferred my pc life to apple. I couldn't be happier with my decision, but let me tell you it wasn't an easy choice, seeing that apple computers cost nearly an arm and leg maybe even a finger or two. I couldn't wrap my head around spending that amount of money just for a computer, I mean clearly the first thought of having that much money Id want to go shopping and spend it all on clothes, but after pondering that idea I shook it off because lets be honest I have a TON of clothes and lord knows I don't need more or have enough hangers either way. I knew I had the money to afford an apple computer seeing that my tax return this year was fairly higher than normal, but still I struggled with the decision. I questioned a few friends, texted some family members asking their opinion, and even took to Facebook to see what the majority of people use out there. Turns out, not a shocker here, but everyone seems to be in love with Macbooks. I had one final person I wanted to put in the hot seat before I really committed to my decision, the sales man as Best Buy. After asking tons and tons of questions, some that really had no relevance what so ever, I made my choice. It was clear, GO FOR IT, I mean yolo right? After signing my life away on a tiny dotted line at the bottom of my receipt I walked out with my head held high and a new laptop in hand! So I know what you're thinking, that I immediately sped home to tear open the packaging and start playing, and if you know me at all that is what I wanted to do. But today mother nature has a different plan for me. See last night was quite a toss and turning one, I went to bed with the sniffles and woke up with a full blown cold. Yuck, right? I felt terrible all morning and the fact that I had a 7:30 shift today didn't go over to well with my body. I pushed through and worked with a smile on for my guest. So after getting off, and picking up my computer, the only thing I wanted to do was hit the sheets. Ive since napped, finished my taxes, taken a hot bubble bath, and lastly set up my computer. Did I mention I GOT A MAC? Still so excited about this people. So Im glad to inform you I will be reuniting with my oh so fabulous blog, I'm sorry this post is fairly short but girls got to get her rest so back to bed for me.

xx.

I dedicate this one to you

We all have that one person who is in our past for a very clear reason, actually we may have a few people. One that comes to mind for me personally would be an ex boyfriend. That term "ex" just makes me want to hold my ears tight and scream. College and young adult life is full of heartbreaks and tons of walkers. I like to call the people who come into your life for a short period of time "walkers," this type of person could be someone you meet at a party, a short lived friend, or my favorite a uncommitted ex boyfriend. Take my word for it I've delt with quite a handful of "walkers" over the past year.

Here's the thing though, my one person from my past, the one that makes me want to scream isn't a quote on quote bad person. Good people sometimes can make bad choices, but do we hold it against them or find it in our heart to forgive them? We are all at the age where we are growing and learning from mistakes that will shape us and make us the person we want to be. But in order to get to that point don't you think there will be a few bumps along the way? Just because you have a map doesn't mean you wont get lost. This person just didn't know how to read directions very well, clearly.

More than once we have traveled down the path we once were on together, reminiscing on what good memories we shared. We've also butted heads multiple times disagreeing over what really went wrong. His reasoning; he wasn't ready, nor had the time for a relationship. And me on the defense; I was treated like a doormat, completely walked over. But we are both in the wrong, he should have appreciated a good thing when he had it, not after it was lost. And I should have stood up for myself when I was knocked down time and time again. Many would say that this person doesn't deserve to know what I think about him now, but this isn't for him its for me and it's for you. For the girl who still dwells on the past, and thinks about that one guy and what she did wrong. We've all been that girl  at one point, and its time we warn the younger girls so they don't go threw what you and I have.There was a reason that this relationship didn't work, who's to say that it wont work later on down the road. Or who's to say that this wont lead you into something greater. I am not bitter about what happened, I know not every relationship will work out. I know that because it didn't work that God has something so much greater planned for me, and im excited to see what he has in store.

You take what happened and you learn from it, grow from it. That is exactly what I did, I took all of that energy spent trying to make someone else happy, who mind you didn't want to be, and focused it all on myself. How can you fall in love with someone if you don't first love yourself. On this journey I have learned so much about myself, I've started to discover what I actually want in a person, what I need to work on when it comes to relationships, and most importantly I've learned im no where near ready to even get into a relationship. At the prime age of twenty one there is a endless amount of possibilities, the road is wide open for me to go wherever my heart desires, and because of that I'd like to personally thank that guy for breaking my heart. You have given me the push I needed to really discover who I am, and you have molded me into a better person. Ill also thank him on behalf of the guy that I do end up with. I know that he is going to love me because of what you have forced me to do, which is focus on myself. I wish you nothing but happiness so here's to you!

they say were too young to amount to anything else

**Random thought, I am obsessed with the new 5SOS song "She Looks So Perfect" and I currently have it on repeat while writing this blog so if I randomly start typing some strange song lyrics that's where it's coming from. 

Texas I have returned! It was such a loooooooooooooong flight (no im not exaggerating!) Our flight was delayed, then we had to sit behind literally twelve other planes inline for the runway, and once we finally got in the air it was another three hour nearly four hour flight. I spend the majority of the flight reading since the WiFi was down (rubbish I know.) I also spent the majority of the trip trying out new accents and completely annoyed Nicole with them as much as possible, it was quite funny, but to be fair most people in New York are not indeed from the city so everyone had accents I was just being like them. Anyways, so our trip was so exciting the days were long but I feel like the time flew right past us. We're jumping right back into our everyday lives tomorrow, going back to work and class. Should be amusing to see what we end up texting each other throughout the day tomorrow in regards to wishing we were back in NY.  (If there are any funny ones Ill screen shot them and post them hehe) While on this mini vacation I had a ton of realization that I may not be in the right state, I mean obliviously I'm open about my love of wanting to travel, but I feel like this trip just really set that wish into motion. I met so many people from different places all over the world and it really made me think, "what am I doing with MY life?" Like really where am I going, who am I meeting, and what places am I seeing by sitting in Texas? I want to learn a new language, and learn about different cultures, and try new foods that I've never heard of. This year I turn 22 and I've read many places that this will be the best year in your twenty's so I say BRING IT ON. Im ready for the adventures, the challenges, and all the bumps in the road that comes along with these changes. I'm so down for the change, for new things. I really want the excitement that comes along with it too! (If anyone has any ideas as to some new things or places I should do or see please send them my way.) 


Already this year is proving to be one for lots of great changes, and exciting experiences. Just a few days before my trip I was talking to a girl I work with saying how that once this trip was over I wouldn't have anything to look forward to, but boy was I wrong! For example this weekend I have plans to go to the Houston Museum of Natural Science, then for my little sisters tenth birthday my family is going camping, after that the rodeo will be coming up and hopefully going to see my girl sg again, then atx festival, a few trips to Austin here and there, SUMMER, my birthday, then on aug 22 I will be in the same room as HAROLD STYLES people when I go see the 1D concert where I will more than likely pass out and die in which the rest of the year wont even matter.... so. 


Well as if you couldn't tell already this post  random and really didn't make much since at all because I just sort of wrote random things here and there, IM TIRED PEOPLE. I just got off of being on a plane for over five hours. With that I think I will finally go to sleep. 


Oh I will leave you with some lyrics, 

if you don't swim, you'll drown.